3 reasons a nice man disappears after a date

Lisa Copeland /

— Lisa Copeland is “The Dating Coach Who Makes Dating Fun and Easier after 50!”

When Elana met Alan, his good looks literally took her breath away.

He looked so handsome and sexy in his black pants, white shirt and sport coat.

Wow … she couldn’t believe how nice he’d dressed for her. She loved that he so wanted to impress her.

They headed to a local restaurant and sat outside enjoying the final days of summer, a good bottle of wine and a leisurely dinner.

Elana couldn’t believe it. As she sat across from Alan, she felt like she’d met the man of her dreams.

To her, he was amazing … openly talking about anything and everything, including exploring the possibility of a relationship with her.

He made her feel so girly and feminine about herself, which felt really good. And on top of all that … he loved doing the same things she loved doing.

She was truly in awe of this man.

The next time they met, Alan came back to her home and as they talked and laughed, he offered to rub her feet. No man had ever done this before.

As the third date approached, Elana found herself totally infatuated with this man, feeling like she’d finally met her Mr. Right.

The morning of their date, Alan texted that he couldn’t make their date and he thought they should just be friends.

Elana was stunned. Up to now, everything this man had said and done had screamed of relationship.

What happened to Elana is actually pretty common. I want to share three reasons this happens and what you can do to heal should it happen to you.

1. You’re not alone if you’ve painted a picture in your head of who you think your Prince Charming is.

When it feels like he’s shown up on the first date … it’s normal to get really excited. And even before you’ve finished your cup of coffee it’s not uncommon to start imagining yourself in a wedding dress walking down the aisle with this special guy.

Having said this, I want you to pay close attention to the next few sentences.

First dates are meet and greets.

Second dates are for getting to know him better.

Third dates are for getting to know him better.

Fourth dates are for getting to know him even better.

2. Men talk out loud about what they are thinking.

A man might verbally explore a relationship with you because he wants it, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready for it and that is probably what happened here.

It’s possible Alan really liked Elana … then got scared and backed off till he could sort his feelings out.

Men get scared, too!

The best thing you can do when you find a guy you really like is to continue dating him and other men until the two of you decide to create a committed, exclusive relationship together.

3. Try to not blame yourself when a man disappears. It’s really not about you.

It’s about something going on inside of him, whether it’s fear, confusion or just him talking out loud about what he thinks he wants. The best thing you can do is to go slow while observing whether or not a new man walks his talk and is who he appears to be.

And remember … some day, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.