3 reasons why quality men don't call you back

Published Apr 5, 2013 at 05:00AM

There are three basic reasons why men don't call you back.

No. 1: You aren't his type

We all have images in our head of who we want to spend our lives with.

A man scans your profile and contacts you if he thinks you fit this picture.

The two of you are on the phone talking the hours away — and he starts saying things like, “We'll have to get you out here on one of my horses or we'll have to try out the latest restaurant together since you love sushi so much.”

His picture is working overtime thinking you might be the one and you get excited thinking maybe he's right for you, too.

Then the two of you meet, and within minutes he's decided you aren't a match to his picture, so the second date doesn't happen.

It's not personal. It's just the pictures. The one in his head and the one you turn out to be don't match.

And this is why you want to limit emails and phone calls prior to a face-to-face meeting. You don't want to be too invested in a man before you meet him.

No. 2: You had sex too quickly

You meet a man and the chemistry is hot and as the date ends, the two of you start kissing and kissing and kissing some more.

Hands start roving all over the place and you find yourself in the back seat of his car having sex with a man you've only known for a few hours.

You're both on fire and it feels good and it feels right. But then he doesn't call.

Why? It was too easy for him.

You want to understand that men categorize women they date into two groups.

The first are the women they play with — as in first date sex, or friends with benefits situations.

It's easy sex; it's fun for him. But that's all it is. Few first dates make it to second ones if sex has been involved from the get-go.

Then there is Category No. 2: The woman he considers Potential Relationship Material. This is where you want to be if he thinks the two of you are a match.

So if you want to make it to Category No. 2, slow it down. Hold off having sex and that means anything beyond kissing until you think a real relationship is a possibility.

No. 3: You appeared too needy

By the end of the first date, you are telling him how excited you are to move in with him — and asking how soon can it happen?

Nothing scares a man or turns him off faster than a woman who is already making her life his life.

Slow down and get to know someone before deciding he is the one.

Keep in mind that first date behavior is nothing more than good behavior. It's not real life behavior.

It takes a while to really get to know someone.

Enjoy the process of this special time — you know, before the real work begins.

It's the sweetest of most relationships when everything is a fairy tale.

In the meantime, keep your own apartment and get a life of your own so you have cool things of your own to share with him when you get together.

The final word

There are lots of reasons men don't call back — some are as silly as he didn't like the purse you were carrying. But save yourself a lot of date analysis and evaluation by not taking a first date personally, and by not being invested in its outcome.

If it's meant to be, it will be. And if it's not? You had the opportunity to spend some time with a new and interesting person that day.

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