Dating Coach

Overcoming your over-50 fears

Lisa Copeland /

Here are four steps to break though the fear and self-doubt you may be feeling about dating again at this time in your life.

• Take a no-excuses approach: Although some call them “reasons,” you could be stopping yourself from finding Mr. Right by using excuses.

Great guys are everywhere.

Yet when you're not sure what to do or how to handle the dating issues that come up, you make and use excuses that ultimately keep you from moving toward your dream of having a good man in your life.

Some of the biggest excuses I hear are: “There are no good men left out there to date,” “I'm too busy to date,” “All men are jerks,” and the list goes on.

You may want to date, but in reality, it feels safer to stay single so you use these excuses as your trap door — your escape route.

To get the right guy into your life, you've got to be willing to let go of the excuses and get yourself online or out in the real world meeting men.

This is the way you can find the one who is a good fit for you.

Ask yourself, how badly do you want a companion in your life? You either have excuses or you have results. Which do you choose?

• Feel the fear — but do it anyway: Your ego creates fear to keep you safe.

Just thinking about dating, you may have felt fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of being humiliated, a fear of making mistakes, fear a man might not like you, fear of the unknown, just to name a few.

Most single women I know experience fear.

What separates the women who get the guys from those who allow their fears to hold them back is a willingness to date in spite of the fears they may be feeling.

The best way for you to get over your dating fears is to walk directly into them.

Let yourself feel them. Ask the fear what it's trying to tell you. Then journal or meditate on the answers you hear.

• Be willing to go out of your comfort zone: Most of us avoid discomfort like it's the plague yet it's the best way to grow and get what you want in life.

It can be scary, but usually you only feel uncomfortable for a short period of time.

Here's a great mantra that will help you:

I am ready to date. I am willing to find and meet new men even when I feel uncomfortable. I know uncomfortable equals growth and growth equals achieving my dreams of finding the man I want to share my life with.

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