The title refers to the urn containing some of Rose’s cremated remains. Despite many promises to do so, Jamie’s father can’t bring himself to scatter them. Instead, he talks to the urn, leaves a piece of cake next to it on birthdays, and uses it, figuratively, to browbeat his two surviving children when they get out of line.
While Jamie’s sister died spectacularly, his dilemma surely echoes that of many younger children who’ve had an older sibling die. He barely remembers Rose and is perplexed by family pressure, especially from his father, to treat her like a saint. (Dad has labeled boxes with Rose’s stuff in them “Sacred.") The Rose he does remember is a different girl:
“In fact she was quite bad and according to Jas she was naughty at school, but no one seemed to remember that now that she is all dead and perfect."
“At my old school," Jamie reports, “everyone called me ‘Girly’ ’cos I like art, ‘Nerd’ ’cos I’m clever and ‘Weirdo’ ’cos I find it hard to speak to people I don’t know." But one day a year, everyone wanted to be his friend: the very public anniversary of Rose’s death.
He welcomes a new school where no one will know about Rose, but the trauma of her death lingers. He can’t truthfully write the cheerful family and holiday essays that teacher expects, especially when a holiday consists of dad drinking and snoring, and mom far away not responding to his letters.
Three relationships sustain him in this world: the unconditional love of Roger, his cat; the bonds and secrets he shares with Jas, his sister; and the growing friendship with Sunya, rocky and troubled as it may be. Both Jas, who has dyed her hair pink and eats as little as possible, and Jamie are keeping secrets from their father. She has acquired a green-haired boyfriend; he has Sunya.
Jamie has internalized Dad’s grief-stricken rage: “Muslims killed your sister. Muslims are terrorists." He struggles with reconciling how he can like Sunya while staying respectful to his father. It’s a serious question, as she’s his only ally against a bully picking on both of them. In this and other segments, Pitcher provides a plausible view of a how a 10-year-old thinks and processes his revelations.
Pitcher demonizes no character, except possibly the hapless teacher of Jamie’s classroom. Even Dad, the angry alcoholic, is given his due as the parent trying to keep the family together.
She also avoids giving Jamie and his family a mythical closure of their grief. Instead, she crafts something more honest and more real — a way for the family to go on.
