Bulletin E-Edition:
more photosClockwise from left: Tyler Starr, 13, Kristie Foden, 16, Michael Foden, 18, Amy Starr, 35, and Kodi Foden, 11, gather around a portrait of Sgt. 1st Class Taylor Starr, 39, who is serving in Iraq with the Oregon Army National Guard. During Starr's deployment, all of the family members say they've had to pitch in around the house.
Pete Erickson / The Bulletin
Help from all corners of the house
For military families with a parent overseas, the empty spot at home can make for trying holidays. Taylor Starr, serving in Iraq, always chose the Christmas tree and put up the lights. In his absence, his family divided up the tasks and went to work.
By Erin Golden / The Bulletin
Published: December 14. 2009 4:00AM PSTEditor's note: This is the third in a series of four stories about Central Oregon families in need. Each week The Bulletin will profile a family and provide information about ways to help others during the holiday season.
CROOKED RIVER RANCH — Most years, it's Taylor Starr's job to pick out the Christmas tree and put up the lights at the house he shares with his wife and four children.
But this year, Starr is spending the holidays in Iraq, where he is serving with the Oregon Army National Guard's 41st Infantry Brigade Combat Team, so the Christmas decorating responsibilities have been divided up among the family.
Thirteen-year-old Tyler Starr and his stepbrother, 11-year-old Kodi Foden, helped hang the lights over the fence outside the house. Sixteen-year-old Kristie Foden picked out the Christmas tree and the color scheme for the decorations: red, white and blue.
In the months since her husband left for Iraq, Amy Starr, 35, said her day-to-day life has become a major balancing act.
During the day, she drives into Redmond to work at Cascade Medical Clinic. She takes care of things that need to be fixed around the house and, when she has time, works on an upstairs addition that Taylor started before he left for Iraq.
She writes chore lists for Tyler, Kodi and Kristie, who all attend school in Redmond, and for 18-year-old Michael Foden, who recently received his GED and is looking for work. The kids sometimes prepare dinner — Kodi proudly noted that he'd recently made french toast — and all try to avoid the most unpopular task: hauling in and stacking wood to burn in the stove that heats the house.
Some days are easier than others, but Amy said things usually work out.
“I think everybody has had to take on more responsibilities than they usually have,” she said.
More than 110 Central Oregonians are serving in Iraq with the 41st Brigade's 1st Squadron, 82nd Cavalry, which is based in Bend. Most of the soldiers left home in May for training in Georgia and then Kuwait, and arrived in Iraq in July. Because of an injury, Starr, 39, left in September. The deployment is scheduled to end in May.
Starr, who works as a mechanic for the U.S. Department of Defense, joined the National Guard more than two decades ago. Before he left for the Middle East, he was working in La Grande, commuting back and forth from Crooked River Ranch every week, so Amy and the kids were used to him being gone.
Still, Tyler said there's no comparing his dad being a few hours away at work in Oregon with him leaving for a year and halfway across the world. He tries to keep busy so the time passes more quickly.
“It isn't as bad as we thought it would be,” Tyler said. “We just try to not think about it, to do activities, to not think about it.”
The family doesn't keep an official countdown to Starr's return on a calendar, since it's hard to know which day he'll return. But each family member said he or she thinks often about seeing him again this spring. Tyler and Kodi are looking forward to going on a bow-hunting trip. Kristie wants to go shopping for her first car. Amy hopes her husband will have forgotten about a promise she made before he left: When he comes home, he can watch ultimate fighting on TV whenever he wants.
The kids agree that the deployment has been tough, particularly on Amy, who admits that she's not one to ask for help.
“We thought she was going to be grumpy, and she was,” Kristie joked. “She was grumpy for a long time, and she just kind of got cool, somehow, one day.”
As Christmas approaches, Amy said she's found it a little more difficult than usual to get into the holiday spirit with her husband gone. But she said she's thankful for the strength she's found in herself and her family over the last few months as they've tackled all kinds of new challenges.
“At first I didn't think I was a very good military wife,” she said. “But I've made it this far.”
Erin Golden can be reached at 541-617-7837 or at egolden@bendbulletin.com.
ARTICLE ACCESS: This article is among those available to all readers. Many more articles are available only to E-Edition members. Sign up today!
comments powered by Disqus
